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Name: Jojo
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I'm a woman in my 40s and need help for my brother.

When we were teenagers, he began to masturbate in front of me. I never confronted him about it and had not thought of it for years when, Willing a family get-together, he began to talk about it.

He apologised, but said that when he wants an erection he thinks of me. He said he's in love with me and wants us to have an intimate relationship.

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Where can he get the help he desperately needs? There's no doubt that your brother needs psychosexual therapy, but what about you?

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I suspect you are dealing with confusion, shame and even anger over those inappropriate sexual experiences. Incest is more common than people think, and takes many dex.

In your case, your brother's sexuality was formed with you as witness, so it is no surprise that you continue to be fundamental to his eroticism. Indeed, it would surprise me if you, too, had not retained aspects of these early sexual Brothera in your current sexuality — whether or not you are conscious of it.

Incest leaves survivors with shame, sexual confusion and low self-esteem, which can have a devastating effect on future relationships.

Recognise that as a survivor you too need help in healing. Let your brother know that, in stating continued erotic interest in you, he is compounding his teenage inappropriateness — and suggest he seeks help immediately.

Most gave, stop trying to take care of him and nurture yourself instead. Sexual Healing is opened up for comments at theguardian. Topics Relationships Sexual healing.

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